Hoping that neighbor don’t start his mower
At seven a.m. Cause if he starts it…
Grass gonna glide, his shirt, shoes, and his cap.
But, I’m a peaceful sort, with a excellent heart…

Damned fool just cranked it up. Now I got to
Flatten all four tires…my car’s tires, of course!
Then sashay over to his idiot
Self…bat my lashes, sweetly question for help…

Which I don’t need, cause my brothers taught me
Everything about tires and fixing…
But HE don’t know that, and I ain’t tellin…
Cause, long about eleven a…damn…m,

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So, I’ve been browsing this board…… it is November and my son has been taken out of his regular Kindergarten class and place in the smaller ITC class due to his behaviour. Friday the special ed teacher breaks the news to me that she is sure he had at least the Hyper part of ADHD. So before everyone weighs in……

I am against meds, and have ALWAYS controlled junk food.
He eats very SMALL sugar, no soda, water and milk, and I do not allow him to have chocolate milk at school.
He gets a HUGE amount of like and attention, so don’t even GO THERE.
He goes to bed at 7p.m. and awakens on his own at 5:30 a.m.
I am signing him up for wrestling trying to get him hooked on something, extracurricular.
He does not seem to have a trigger, as he is a very active boy who likes to jump and climb and be outside. He is not attached to any toys except his bicycle. He was not upset that he got 10 checkmarks at school and lost the school wide halloween parade. He was not upset when his older brothers went trick or treating and he just held my hand in street clothes while watching them.

He was bored, but did NOT throw a fit when he had to sit on the side lines and watch his brothers swim at an indoor water park…….. (which is something he likes) He KNEW the consequences of his actions prior to losing these things, because he would tell everyone that he hoped he wouldn’t get 10 check marks.

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*STAR*
As the cashier runs your buy over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow, magic!”

Question other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

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I was in Manhattan yesterday and I saw this really cute young woman sitting in one of those “bicycle cabs”. She had tattoos on her arm and quite a few piercings: nose, mouth, navel and other places. She smiled at me when she saw me looking at her, and I complimented her on her piercings and went on my way. I couldn’t get her out of my head for like the next hour, and I realized that I get the same way about all women with tattoos and piercings. I guess it’s a “fetish” of mine.

BUT, here’s the ‘problem’: I am going to school to be either an engineer or an actuary, which means I’ll probably be employed by some huge corporation. Also, I like dressing in suits and nice shoes; I dress like that for school even.

Anyway, I’d absolutely LIKE to have a relationship with a young lady with a real punk look and attitude, I reckon they’re so gorgeous and sexy, but I dunno if they would want to have a relationship with someone who is so clean cut.

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I did not write this, but it’s an incredible peom, and I cried when I read it.
This is the tale of my life:

To Have A Horse:

To have a horse in your life is a gift. In the matter of a few small years, a horse can teach a child courage, if they choose to grab mane, and hang on for dear life. Even the smallest of ponies is mightier than the tallest of girls. To conquer the dread of falling of, having one’s toes crushed, or being publicly humiliated at a horse show is an admirable feat for any child. For that, we can be grateful.

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I have finally had it ! I am in a loveless, sexless, emotionally drained relationship, and though I have endlessly tried to make it work for the last 3 years. I have watched the $ disappear, I’ve watched the jobs be lost, I’ve seen her gain 20 extra pounds—all with a smile on my face.

But I have changed a lot in the last 4 months. I delight in riding my bicycle everywhere, I hike all the time, I am a vegetarian and I cannot stand the effects of alcohol. For her, she enjoys celebrity gossip shows, going out to bars, sleeping till 1 p.m. on weekends and being really bone idle.

So, I’ve chose to leave her some $, and I’m going to go a few states away to get the much needed distance. But, both of our families are in the same town. So, on holidays I will be back. How can I avoid confronting her after I leave? Has anyone out there done this too? how did you clarify it: note, phone call, face to face?

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Indiana Crazy Law

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!
One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

All males 18 to 50 years ancient must work six days a year on public roads.

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I’m seventeen, three months to go ’till eighteen. I do not need to be questioned “Why not just wait three months?” I’ve already thought about this myself, and I have my own reasons. Valid or Invalid, that part of the choice is made. As for supporting myself, I’m resourceful. Fifteen hundred dollars and a sleeping bag, along with my bicycle goes a long way. I’m not remaining in the States anyhow.

Here it is: I live in California. It isn’t really, illegal to runaway. Of course, if found by law enforcement, then law enforcement or my parents can forcibly return me home.

My question is: What sort of effort will really be place forth to finding me?

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-Wax the ceiling

-Rearrange political campaign signs

-Sharpen your teeth

-Play Houdini with one of your siblings

-Braid your dog’s hair

-Clean and polish your belly button

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Life in a Third World Country

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” – Nido Qubein

Economist Robert Heilbroner describes the luxuries a typical American family would have to surrender if they lived a month the one billion hungry people in the Third World:

We start by invading the house of our imaginary American family to strip it of its furniture.
Everything goes: beds, chairs, tables, television sets, lamps. We will leave the family with a few ancient blankets, a kitchen table, a wooden chair. Along with the bureaus go the clothes. Each member of the family may keep in his “wardrobe”, his oldest suit or dress, a shirt or blouse. We will permit a pair of shoes for the head of the family, but none for his wife or children.

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